Why Men Beat Women

Topic: Why Men Beat Women



You saw them on Oprah (March 19th) now it's your chance to talk with Tony and Sir on The Abundant Solutions Hour. Around the world at least one woman in every three has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family. Nearly one in every three adult women experiences at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood. Approximately four million American women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner during a 12-month period.


Tony Gaskins Jr.
, Best Selling Author – “What Daddy Never Told His Little Girl” and “Reclaiming Our Youth One Day At A Time”



I couldn’t express myself verbally, so I would take it out on her physically”, says Tony. “The thing that triggered me was that I was insecure as a person. To see her stare at another man, or to see her have a conversation with another man, or if she confronted me about anything, it enraged me.
”




Sir Rodeheaver, Husband and Father



“It set me off. I remember walking up to her and smacking her full force, “Sir says. “I grabbed her by her neck, and I kind of held her against the car. Then, I walked over to the bushes and threw her in there, and I just started choking her. It was with every bit of rage, every bit of anger I’ve ever had.
”


Listen as Sonya Mosley and Jenelle Thompson, survivors of domestic violence, tell their story.


Prophetess, Sonya Mosley “It’s time for me to tell my story.
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Best Selling Author and Model, Jenelle Thompson “It will be tough, but I must to tell my story.
”





The precise incidence of domestic violence in America is difficult to determine for several reasons: it often goes unreported, even on surveys; there is no nationwide organization that gathers information from local police departments about the number of substantiated reports and calls; and there is disagreement about what should be included in the definition of domestic violence. "One study estimated that more than 3% (approximately 1.8 million) of women were severely assaulted by male partners or cohabitants over the course of a year, while other studies indicate the percentage of women experiencing dating violence, including sexual assault, physical violence, or verbal and emotional abuse, ranges as high as 65%.
"

Gender trends: Women make up 3/4 of the victims of homicide by an intimate partner. Actually, 33% of all women murdered (of course, only cases which are solved are included) are murdered by an intimate partner. Women make up about 85% of the victims of non-lethal domestic violence. In all, women are victims of intimate partner violence at a rate about 5 times that of males.


Racial and Ethnic trends: Black women and men suffer from the highest rates of domestic violence. "Black females experienced domestic violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and about 22 times the rate of women of other races. Black males experienced domestic violence at a rate about 62% higher than that of white males and about 22 times the rate of men of other races.
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Marital status: For both men and women, divorced or separated persons were subjected to the highest rates of intimate partner victimization, followed by never- married persons.


Reporting to police: The rates at which individuals report domestic violence to police vary along racial and gender lines. Hispanic and black women report domestic violence at the highest rate (approximately 65% to 67% of abuse is reported). For white females, only about 50% of the abuse is reported.

Untold Story of the Montana Plane crash...

Abortionist Family Dies - The Untold Story of the Montana Plane Crash

I just ran across this story. See what you think. Pray for the family.


Family of Irving 'Bud' Feldkamp, Owner of the Nation's Largest Privately Owned Abortion Chain, Dies in Montana Plane Crash
Christian News Wire

MEDIA ADVISORY, Mar. 24 /Christian Newswire/ -- Some of you may have seen the major news story of the private plane that crashed into a Montana cemetery, killing 7 children and 7 adults.

But what the news sources fail to mention is that the Catholic Holy Cross Cemetery owned by Resurrection Cemetery Association in Butte - contains a memorial for local residents to pray the rosary, at the 'Tomb of the Unborn'. This memorial, located a short distance west of the church, was erected as a dedication to all babies who have died because of abortion.

What else is the mainstream news not telling you? The family who died in the crash near the location of the abortion victim's memorial, is the family of Irving 'Bud' Feldkamp, owner of the largest for-profit abortion chain in the nation.

Family Planning Associates was purchased four years ago by Irving Moore "Bud" Feldkamp III, owner of Allcare and Hospitality Dental Associates and CEO of Glen Helen Raceway Park in San Bernardino. The 17 California Family Planning clinics perform more abortions in the state than any other abortion provider - Planned Parenthood included - and they perform abortions through the first five months of pregnancy.

Although Feldkamp is not an abortionist, he reaps profits of blood money from the tens of thousands of babies that are killed through abortions performed every year at the clinics he owns. His business in the abortion industry was what enabled him to afford the private plane that was carrying his family to their week-long vacation at The Yellowstone Club, a millionaires-only ski resort.

The plane went down on Sunday, killing two of Feldkamp's daughters, two sons-in-law and five grandchildren along with the pilot and four family friends. The plane, a single-engine turboprop flown by Bud Summerfield of Highland, crashed into the Catholic cemetery and burst into flames, only 500 ft. from its landing destination. All aboard were killed.

The cause of the crash is a mystery. The pilot, who was a former military flier who logged over 2,000 miles, gave no indication to air traffic controllers that the aircraft was experiencing difficulty when he asked to divert to an airport in Butte. Witnesses report that the plane suddenly nosedived toward the ground with no apparent signs of a struggle. There was neither a cockpit voice recorder nor a flight data recorder onboard, and no radar clues into the planes final moments because the Butte airport is not equipped with a radar facility. Some speculate that the crash was due to ice on the wings, but this particular plane model has been tested for icy weather and experts have stated that ice being the cause is unlikely.

In my time working for Survivors of the Abortion Holocaust, I helped organize and conduct a weekly campaign where youth activists stood outside of Feldkamp's mini-mansion in Redlands holding fetal development signs and raising community awareness regarding Feldkamp's dealings in child murder for profit. Every Thursday afternoon we called upon Bud and his wife Pam to repent, seek God's blessing and separate themselves from the practice of child killing.

We warned him, for his children's sake, to wash his hands of the innocent blood he assisted in spilling because, as Scripture warns, if "you did not hate bloodshed, bloodshed will pursue you". (Ezekiel 35:6)

A news source states that Bud Feldkamp visited the site of the crash with his wife and their two surviving children on Monday. As they stood near the twisted and charred debris talking with investigators, light snow fell on the tarps that covered the remains of their hildren.

I don't want to turn this tragic event into some creepy spiritual 'I told you so' moment, but I think of the time spent outside of Feldkamp's - Pam Feldkamp laughing at the fetal development signs, Bud Feldkamp trying not to make eye contact as he got into his car with a small child in tow - and I think of the haunting words, 'Think of your children.' I wonder if those words were haunting Feldkamp as well as he stood in the snow among the remains of
loved ones, just feet from the 'Tomb of the Unborn'?

I only hope and pray that in the face of this tragedy, Feldkamp recognizes his need for repentance and reformation. I pray that God will use this unfortunate catastrophe to soften the hearts of Bud and Pam and that they will draw close to the Lord and wash their hands of the blood of thousands of innocent children, each as precious and irreplaceable as their own.

"I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then." (Deut. 30:19)

Gingi Edmonds is a freelance pro-life activist, writer and photographer based out of Hanford, California. Gingi writes a bi-monthly ProLife Opinion Column and is available for pro-life presentations and speaking engagements. Visit www.gingiedmonds.com for more information.

Renee's Story in an abuse post exchange..

I love you and am praying for you. I am not your judge or your husband's. It is none of my business whether or not you stay married to this man. That is between you and God.

Being cheated on is emotional, mental and spiritual abuse. It is to destroy the sacredness of the marriage covenant that God created. Women have a hard time identifying abuse unless there is a bruise or a broken bone and often times, they think they deserved that.

Cowards abuse women and the biggest cowards choose emotional and mental abuse as they don't want to leave a mark that anyone could see because they know they cannot be arrested for emotional abuse. If you had a broken bone, then someone might find out what he is and what is going on.

Emotional abuse tortures a person from within, it leaves no physical marks but there are signs: blaming oneself, thinking everything is your fault, you cause bad things and deserve them, always apologizing when you have done nothing wrong, defending the abuser and minimizing their actions. They rob you of peace, joy and a feeling of self worth. You feel like dirt.

My aunt was physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and financially abused. She stayed married for the sake of the children. That monster held a gun on my aunt in front of her children.

He never beat the children with his fists but with his words. Renee was told by her Dad from a little girl on that she was fat and ugly. She soaked his words in like the sunshine and those words changed her identity. She was emotionally abused and wanted the love of her father. Renee was beautiful like a model. She had a distorted self image, she saw herself through the eyes of the abuser, not through the eyes of God.

Renee developed aneroxia and her brain started shutting down and her organs. She wanted to get well but she had already destroyed her health too much to get well. She was given drops of water in an eye dropper because she could not eat.

On June 19, 1996, Renee shot herself in the head in front of her mother and brother in the back yard. She died at age 30 from suicide but her Dad might as well of held the gun to her head and plugged the trigger. He murdered her with the emotional abuse years before her heart stopped beating.

Sheila, what would you tell your daughter, granddaughter or best friend if they came to you in the same situation you are in? I wish you could go talk to some women in person who have lived with abuse and are now in the healing process so they can help you identify behaviors for what they are.

When women are abused they project the image the abuser wants them to have one themselves instead of who they really are. They want to control your thoughts and they take pleasure in harming you.

We are all made in the image and likeness of God. We are temples of the Lord. I will pray for you to see yourself as God sees you. I will pray for you and for your husband.



Respnose to me after thanking her for posting the above..........



Our tears for Renee are not in vain because we can share our tragic loss in an attempt to show how abusive actions can lead to tragic end that cannot be changed.

My aunt and her son (Renee's brother) still have horrible nightmares about Renee's suicide. Renee's action were actually a horrible abuse to her Mom and brother. The cycle of abuse had a very horrible domino effect in this family. Renee had divorced her husband prior to this, they were high school sweethearts. His life is shattered because he still loves her. So many shattered lives because of one person wanting power, control and taking pleasure in harming others.

Here is how God works. My parents best friend's son, Phil, was the EMT that answered the call. He knew my family and ordered my aunt in the house for her own mental health. My cousin could not be moved or saved due to her condition. Phil held Renee's hand until he died one hour later and he prayed with her until Jesus and the angels came for her. That was the only comfort my aunt had. Phil was a heavenly earth angel.

Renee wrote a letter to be read at her funeral. She wrote about the Scripture, "Come to me all you who are heavily burdened...". She wrote about how much she loved God then she wrote what the abuse did to her. Her words still haunt me. It was so sad and horrifying. I will never be the same after hearing her pain, it was gut-wrenching.

Thanks for listening. Feel free to share precious Renee's story if it will help someone else.

Concern exchange from one friend to another

Please note that I l have left some of this conversation off for privacy issues along with the names as they are not important. What I wanted to express here is that the cycle is always pretty much the same for each abuser.

Original post:
Let me give yall a little background on what is happening and why I don't think I can stay in this marriage. Forgive me, because no matter how I try to shorten it I can't! (Husband) & I have been married for nearly 8 years. He is my 4th husband (all 3 before him were abusive alcoholics and 1 cheated on me). (Husband) was living in Kuwait and driving in Iraq for 18 months and he had a 4 month long affair. He went over there 4 years ago this past April and was home 4 years ago this month for his grandfather's funeral. That was the LAST time we've had sex. Too much info? I'm sorry...

At any rate, when I found out about the affair and asked him the usual question "why her not me?", his answer was "I just don't find you sexually attractive anymore". Of course, later he apologized for those hurtful words...but we've still had ZERO "intimate contact". He doesn't randomly kiss me, hold my hand or even touch me in ANY way. If I didn't kiss him or hold his hand, there would be none. I've tried to get past all of it and try to trust him again. However, other things have happened which make trust really difficult...like finding out he had started smoking pot again, KNOWING that I was 100% against it and that I considered that a "deal breaker" in any relationship I was in. Then I started finding out about e-mail accounts I knew nothing about, My Space pages I knew nothing about and a Post Office Box in (City) that I knew nothing about. There was an 18 year old girl he worked with here locally that would leave what I considered inappropriate comments on his original My Space page...then I found a picture from HER My Space page on HIS My Space page of her butt in a thong! Next, I found out that he had put his stuff from "our" storage unit in (City) into one of his own! Then I found out that he has a post office box in Omaha, Nebraska! His explanation for THAT is that he gets through Omaha more than he gets through here since that is where the company he drives for is based.

He has a nephew in the Marines that is stationed out in California. He also has another one that is finishing Boot Camp out there, too. Graduation is around Sept. 12th. I can't go b/c of money; however, his mom, him & the nephew's mom are going. I'm not sure how many other family members are going. (Husband) & I had been joking about him running down to Tijuana since he was going to be down there for the graduation...or at least I thought it was a joke. I found out on a phone call on my way home from work Monday night that he is NOT joking and that he and at least 1 (probably both) nephew and possibly his brother-in-law are going down there. I lost it! I asked him why he was going. He didn't respond very quickly. So I went on to say, "YOU of all people have NO business down there! You don't drink, you supposedly don't do drugs anymore and you aren't having sex with me so why would you go down there?" He said, "we aren't going down there for THAT!" I said, "I shouldn't HAVE to even be having this conversation with you, (Husband)! YOU of all people should understand why I am upset! YOU of all people should know without me having to say a word about why this is wrong on SO MANY different levels!" Then I said, "Whatever! When you figure out the day you want to return to Omaha let me know so I can try to find you a cheaper flight" and hung up on him. I've not heard from him since. I e-mailed him a pretty detailed e-mail yesterday morning telling him exactly how I'm feeling and that I am beginning to think that maybe we need to each figure out what we want from this marriage and if we even want this marriage any longer. Like I said, I've heard nothing from him in reply...no e-mail, no phone call...nothing. Which pretty much, in my mind, tells me that it is pretty much all over except the paperwork.

So there you have it...all the ugly, gory details of the death of my marriage. I've turned it over to God...told Him "YOU handle this, cuz I seem to be screwing it up pretty badly!" I'm really hurting. I don't know what is going to happen, am not sure what I want to happen. I just know I can't live like THIS any longer. I don't trust him, don't believe anything he says anymore and just don't even believe IN him anymore either. I'm not sure that I love him...or am just afraid to lose the $800 I get from him every month to help pay my rent & utilities here at my sister's where I live. I don't know what is going to happen, what I want to happen or up from down right now. I'm not keeping much down right now, my nerves are shot and I really need to know SOMEthing...hence the need for prayers.


Response from a friend:


I'm keeping you in my prayers too, I also know what you're going through. I was in an abusive marriage for 8 years and didn't have sense enough to get out until he started physically abusing my son. I used to look at women who were abused and couldn't figure out why they just didn't leave, and then I became one of them and couldn't figure out how to leave. There are so many things that go through your mind...he had me convinced that I was the reason he was a jerk. When he burned my 2-year old son with a cigarette lighter "trying to show him that it was hot", I knew for the sake of my kids I had to get out of that situation. Even then, I did it for the kids and not because he was beating the stuffing out of me on a regular basis. I've learned a lot since then, about myself and about how to treat people. I think God put me in that situation to learn from it and even though I didn't like it, it still wasn't more than I could handle. He got me out before it got to that point. It's probably a strange thing to say, but I think the abuse I went through as a child from the nighttime "visits" and the abuse I went through in that marriage, helped to change me into the person I am now. One that would do anything I can do to help other people going through similar situations and to give back some small portion of the blessings that God has given me. If those things hadn't happened to me, I still wouldn't understand why other people "let" them happen to them. I'd probably still be going through life blaming the victim and not the j____s that was the abuser. It took me a long time to learn to put a stop to things I didn't want to happen. Now if someone even looks like they don't have my best interest in the plan somewhere, it's like Mary says...I cut 'em out and tell them "I don't think so". I don't know if any of this makes sense, I tend to ramble, but maybe this is your sign, your wake-up call if you will. Love doesn't hurt and it sounds like you're really hurting. I can't tell you what to do either, but if it was me I'd take this as a signal that it was time to let go. I know it's a hard thing to do, but when you think about it, it's hard to keep going through what you're going through now. It's hard to wake up every morning and wonder what the next lie or excuse will be, or what is really going on instead of what you've been told. That's hard. I know it is, I've been there and done that, and I finally got to the point where I just refused to let it happen to me anymore. I think for me I had to get rid of my "poor me, how could you do this to me" attitude and take on my "Who the _____ do you think you are that you can treat another human being that way." attitude. "So you don't find me attractive anymore...well, have you looked in the mirror lately." I had to get mad first and realize that I am a child of God and I'm worth more than that 'cause God don't make junk. So, if you want to mistreat and belittle somebody, it will have to be somebody else, because God's got my back and I don't have to be afraid of you or put up with your "stuff" anymore. See ya".


Original poster:


I have still not heard anything from (Husband) since I hung up on him Monday night and sent the e-mail on Tuesday morning. I did see his mom this afternoon when I dropped my 10 year old granddaughter off at her house for the night. I asked her "So? Are you and Cathy going with the boys to Tijuana?" She said, "Ummm, no...and neither are the boys! A directive was sent to all the Marine's telling them that No Marine will be allowed across the border into Tijuana!" So...was this all for nothing? Or was this indeed the shove from God that I needed to do what I have known for the past 3 years that I needed to do?

Wondering..a thought while in the park...

I know I haven't posted here much but it seems that we get busy with life and abuse to children and women is so out of proportion to other crimes. From shaking baby syndrome to killing families, women and children by husbands, it is overwhelming.
I have someone very close to me that goes through verbal abuse almost daily and is on her way away from it. For this I am grateful because I know the next step is physical. She has always told herself she couldn't do any better than him, not knowing he is the very one who makes her feel that way. Well, her "Knight in Shining Armor" has shown up and he is such a doll. His encouragement has made her see her ex to be for who he truly is.
This time the only "Honeymoon" period will be a real one.

Abuse, Power & Control (Click on image to enlarge)

Abuse & Equality (Click on image to enlarge)