I love you and am praying for you. I am not your judge or your husband's. It is none of my business whether or not you stay married to this man. That is between you and God.
Being cheated on is emotional, mental and spiritual abuse. It is to destroy the sacredness of the marriage covenant that God created. Women have a hard time identifying abuse unless there is a bruise or a broken bone and often times, they think they deserved that.
Cowards abuse women and the biggest cowards choose emotional and mental abuse as they don't want to leave a mark that anyone could see because they know they cannot be arrested for emotional abuse. If you had a broken bone, then someone might find out what he is and what is going on.
Emotional abuse tortures a person from within, it leaves no physical marks but there are signs: blaming oneself, thinking everything is your fault, you cause bad things and deserve them, always apologizing when you have done nothing wrong, defending the abuser and minimizing their actions. They rob you of peace, joy and a feeling of self worth. You feel like dirt.
My aunt was physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and financially abused. She stayed married for the sake of the children. That monster held a gun on my aunt in front of her children.
He never beat the children with his fists but with his words. Renee was told by her Dad from a little girl on that she was fat and ugly. She soaked his words in like the sunshine and those words changed her identity. She was emotionally abused and wanted the love of her father. Renee was beautiful like a model. She had a distorted self image, she saw herself through the eyes of the abuser, not through the eyes of God.
Renee developed aneroxia and her brain started shutting down and her organs. She wanted to get well but she had already destroyed her health too much to get well. She was given drops of water in an eye dropper because she could not eat.
On June 19, 1996, Renee shot herself in the head in front of her mother and brother in the back yard. She died at age 30 from suicide but her Dad might as well of held the gun to her head and plugged the trigger. He murdered her with the emotional abuse years before her heart stopped beating.
Sheila, what would you tell your daughter, granddaughter or best friend if they came to you in the same situation you are in? I wish you could go talk to some women in person who have lived with abuse and are now in the healing process so they can help you identify behaviors for what they are.
When women are abused they project the image the abuser wants them to have one themselves instead of who they really are. They want to control your thoughts and they take pleasure in harming you.
We are all made in the image and likeness of God. We are temples of the Lord. I will pray for you to see yourself as God sees you. I will pray for you and for your husband.
Respnose to me after thanking her for posting the above..........
Our tears for Renee are not in vain because we can share our tragic loss in an attempt to show how abusive actions can lead to tragic end that cannot be changed.
My aunt and her son (Renee's brother) still have horrible nightmares about Renee's suicide. Renee's action were actually a horrible abuse to her Mom and brother. The cycle of abuse had a very horrible domino effect in this family. Renee had divorced her husband prior to this, they were high school sweethearts. His life is shattered because he still loves her. So many shattered lives because of one person wanting power, control and taking pleasure in harming others.
Here is how God works. My parents best friend's son, Phil, was the EMT that answered the call. He knew my family and ordered my aunt in the house for her own mental health. My cousin could not be moved or saved due to her condition. Phil held Renee's hand until he died one hour later and he prayed with her until Jesus and the angels came for her. That was the only comfort my aunt had. Phil was a heavenly earth angel.
Renee wrote a letter to be read at her funeral. She wrote about the Scripture, "Come to me all you who are heavily burdened...". She wrote about how much she loved God then she wrote what the abuse did to her. Her words still haunt me. It was so sad and horrifying. I will never be the same after hearing her pain, it was gut-wrenching.
Thanks for listening. Feel free to share precious Renee's story if it will help someone else.
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